As we know from reading the The Kane Chronicles, Apophis, the Egyptian god of Chaos, is one of the most formidable beings ever to threaten the Earth. So we thought it was about time to delve into his personal hisss-tory.

Major Time Out

You can tell that a god is truly malevolent when other evil gods are like, “Whoa, man. Maybe cool it a little bit with that whole destruction-of-the-world thing? You’re going a little overboard there.” This was the case with Apophis, who posed such a threat to all existence that he was ultimately trapped underground by Ma’at, the eternal forces of order and harmony. Talk about sweeping your problems under the rug.

The Great Escape

Naturally, Apophis would try to free himself from his imprisonment time and time again, usually by possessing lesser gods and magicians and making them do his bidding. It was all preordained by a prophecy that stated he would eat the Sun and end all life on Earth. Turns out being locked away from the mortal realm for centuries builds quite the appetite for hot snacks.

Chaos Incarnate

Possession wasn’t the only power that Apophis had. In addition to mind control, he could also paralyze his enemies with just a stare and manipulate the spirit world of gods and magic, AKA the Duat. Oh, and he was physically stronger than almost every other Egyptian god combined. Not bad for a deity who lacked arms and legs. Sure, he could destroy entire civilizations with just a thought, but could he open a jar of pickles? We didn’t think so. 

Those Meddling Kane Kids

Imagine coming up with a super-secret, super well-thought-out plan to take revenge on your captors, devour the Sun, and destroy the world, only to be foiled by the bratty teenage kids of the magicians who foiled you the last time? Even after he worked so, so hard to eliminate each and every copy of The Book of Overcoming Apophis. Not that the Kanes’ friend Ra the sun god needed a how-to manual to finally explode Apophis’s head.

While it looks like Apophis is finally dead and gone, is it really possible for a god of such immense power to fully disappear? But then, how much do we really want him to? If only we could get a dialed-down version. We’re thinking garter-snake style chaos. That could be fun, right?