Never let anyone tell you you’re too old to do something radical to your hair. Then again, if there’s one seventy-year-old who can still hang with the kids without it being too embarrassing, it’s Granny Z. That’s her job, after all.

Strong First Impressions

Granny’s style would put some of you to shame. How many other grandmas can pull off a purple-and-green nylon jogging suit and a pair of fresh-out-of-the-box Grape 5s? But what really pulls her look together is the purple lightning streak zigzagging across her scalp. Only a select few can make this work. In other words, don’t try this at home.

A Greater Purpose

Granny Z is a mambo, or priestess. As such she serves the loa, spirits who connect the High God with His people on earth. Granny’s designated loa is Erzulie Dantor, known for being a mother to those unable to protect themselves. That’s why Granny Z and her student Seraphine are so dedicated to building a home for displaced and disenfranchised children.

Hope you’re paying attention. You’ll be quizzed on all these names later.

Bring the Thunder

It’s not hard candies that attract young’uns to Granny Z. It’s her hospitality. And let’s be real: her homecooked meals. With the help of Princess Thandiwe, Granny runs a skatepark for kids in need of a place to hang out. The kids have even begun to call themselves “Rolling Thunder,” no doubt inspired by Granny’s electric hairstyle. And in case you were wondering, just because Granny Z uses a cane doesn’t mean she can’t totally shred on a longboard.

Haints and Redliners Beware

Don’t confuse Granny Z’s kindness with passivity. Whether you’re a wayward hero who needs a pep talk or a vicious Redliner on the hunt for children, Granny won’t hesitate to do what needs to be done to protect her people.

If you have a problem with that, why don’t you ask to speak to her manager? Erzulie Dantor is always happy to remind people that no one threatens her children and lives peacefully, or walks the street without fear of her retribution.

So do what Granny Z says and remember never to skate without a helmet, you hear?

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