Father figures come in many shapes and sizes. So, we can’t exactly advise on how to craft the perfect Father’s Day for the dads in your life.

Some fathers will want to go out and do something special with the whole family; others would prefer a nice quiet day at home. The good news is, even if you totally screw it up, a botched Father’s Day is hardly the end of the world. As long as you put in some effort to express your admiration and love on Father’s Day, you can’t really go wrong.

Unless of course, your father is:
a. All-powerful
b. Self-obsessed
c. Prone to earth-shaking mood swings. Literal ones.

How do demigods handle the pressure of celebrating Father’s Day with a godly parent? Here are a few who have mastered the art. Or so they claim . . .

Leo Valdez, Son of Hephaestus:

“My pop is the kind of guy who likes to spend Father’s Day tinkering in his workshop. I know this because that’s how he likes to spend every day. But on Father’s Day, he doesn’t mind a little company from his kids.

“I think he appreciates the father-son bonding time. But he’s not exactly slick about his ulterior motives. There’s always something he ‘needs an extra pair of eyes to look at.’ In other words, something only his kids can figure out. Like how to set up a new router or download a PDF.”

Clarisse La Rue, Daughter of Ares:

“Each year, Ares decides that one of his children can sit on the back of his motorcycle for, at most, half a mile. Naturally, the winner of that privilege is decided through an epic free-for-all race to catch up with him.

“And it’s totally awesome. The race, I mean. Not the motorcycle ride. As last year’s winner, I can tell you that he drives a lot slower than you would imagine. It’s almost as if he cares more about the safety of his bike than the safety of his kids . . .

“Oh, who am I kidding? Of course that’s it!”

Will Solace, Son of Apollo:

“Dad is incredibly lax about celebrating Father’s Day. Last year, we got together and jammed out for a few hours. It was really nice! Even if I still haven’t exactly mastered the tambourine.

“The only problem is, he’s always asking me to introduce him to the music producers who work with my mom. I have to keep coming up with new excuses as to why he can’t. I don’t know if I’m protecting him from the music industry, or the music industry from him. Regardless, it feels like the right thing to do. I don’t think the world is ready for his mixtape.”

Thalia Grace, Daughter of Zeus:

“Zeus is the kind of dad who claims that Father’s Day is no big deal to him. But if you don’t do anything for him, he lowkey gets upset. Luckily for me, he’s the only dad I know who still likes receiving neckties as a gift.

“Don’t spread this around, but I’ve gifted him the same lightning bolt pattern tie for a few years now. Maybe he’ll eventually catch on, but so far, I’ve gotten away with it scot-free. Take it from me, most gods suffer from a lack of short-term memory. It’s a side effect of immortality. And the crafty demigod knows how to use that to their advantage.”

Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon:

“Father’s Day is this weekend?! Oh geez, I completely forgot! I don’t think have enough time to find Poseidon a gift at this point. Maybe I can treat him to a nice seafood dinner?

“Wait, does he even eat fish? Or are the fish his friends? I know I’ve seen him talk to dolphins before . . . I’m sorry, you’ll need to excuse me. I have to call my mom real quick.”

Samirah al-Abbas, Daughter of Loki:

“Ugh. As if I would take time out of my busy schedule to spend time with my father this weekend. Give me a break. He only gets one day a year from me.

“And he never even thanked me for those flowers I sent him for Mother’s Day.”

(The Records of) Kronos, Son of Ouranos:

“The mortals set aside a day to celebrate fathers? I have never heard of something so absurd in all my existence! I cannot think of anyone less deserving of praise and admiration than my brute of a father.

“Except my rotten children. Despite all my knowledge and power, I’ll never understand how cruelty, narcissism, and ignorance skipped a generation in my family. Then again, many of those demigod grandchildren of mine are a bit troublesome, too.

“Regardless, my idea of a perfect Father’s Day is quite simple now that I think of it. A nice, candlelit meal with all my children . . . on the menu, of course. I’m getting a bit hungry just thinking about it!”

On that charming note, we would like to wish a very happy Father’s Day to all who celebrate! Which godly parent would you like to spend Father’s Day with? Be sure to let us know!