Your New Rome University Course Guide

Summer has officially arrived! That means there’s no better time than right now to start planning your academic future. If you are one of the lucky demigods who has been accepted into New Rome University for the fall semester, take a look at these exciting, engaging, and absolutely mandatory* courses offered for incoming freshmen.

*Mandatory only in the sense that a true Roman commits to 100% completion of all areas of study. As of now, none of these courses are mandatory to receive an undergraduate degree.

Introduction to Roman Architecture

Do you lie awake at night wondering why the modern world has abandoned the basic tenets of Roman architecture? Well, you’re in luck, because so do we! In this course, you will learn the basics of colosseum construction, Parthenon perseveration, and the surprising malleability of marble. By the end of this course, students will understand why ancient Roman structures have been standing for centuries and will continue to endure long after contemporary architecture inevitably crumbles to dust.

Note: Architecture majors are still required to complete Introduction to Contemporary Architecture in order to complete their program.

The Basic Principles of Roman Science

Ever wonder how someone’s life force can be tied directly to a highly flammable piece of wood? Or how a child born in the 1920s can be transported to the 21st century without aging a day? What of the recent resurrection of three notorious Roman emperors?

In this course, learn how simple areas of study such as quantum physics, neural entanglement, and bio-electrochemical revivification can help explain all the strange and divine phenomena found within the Roman world.

. . . Anyone?

Pre-Roman History

Did you know that much of the foundation of Roman art and culture pre-dates the Roman empire entirely? In this course, learn how the histories and lifestyles of Rome’s conquered territories were sublimated into the Roman project and discover the true origins of your favorite Roman myths and legends.

Note: Due to a recent request from a higher power, this course has been placed on hold indefinitely. Students who have already registered may visit the administration office to see if they qualify for a partial refund.

The Art of Poetry in Warfare

As an esteemed institution of higher learning, New Rome University does not offer any courses on the nature of combat or conquest (at least not since those pesky regulations were passed). Instead, guest-lecturer-turned-permanent-lecturer-turned-professor Minerva is here to spread her immortal wisdom about why, in her words, “Roman poetry is as devastating and soul-searing as any confrontation on the battlefield. Only I can teach you how to destroy your enemies with a blistering stanza.” (She insisted we use the full quote).

If you miss a session or two, not to worry. Makeup courses are held. . . well, all day every day. In fact, Minerva can still be found in her lecture hall even while the university is closed for the summer. We, uh, don’t exactly know how to ask her to leave.

Roman Finance 101

Preparing for a career in the fast-paced world of finance? You’ve come to the right place. In this course, you will get to know the fundamentals of how the international market economy really work.

And yes, in case you’re wondering, it is all controlled by Pluto. But in this course, you will find out how to properly honor and appease the god of wealth. Learn what makes him happy, what makes him upset, the correct way to compliment his suit, and how to prepare for selling your eternal soul to him in exchange for monetary reward.

Greek Mythology

In this course, students will finally, definitively learn why the Greek myths and gods pale in comparison to their universally beloved Roman counterparts. Only through deliberate study and analysis of the Greek myths can we fully understand the absolute superiority of the Romans.

Greek demigods are encouraged to register for this course to better understand why their pantheon is second tier, as well as to share any elucidating information on the inherent messiness and drama in the lives of the Greek gods. All purely for the sake of academic review, of course.

Which of these NRU courses would you most likely take? Be sure to let us know!