Don’t let her age fool you. The goddess of rainbows has a new lease on life. Not only has she taken an entirely different guise, she’s also decided to expand her business beyond Rainbow Organic Foods & Lifestyles. These days you can find Iris selling crystals, incense, and kale smoothies to mortals all over the world.
And just because Iris has taken her show on the road doesn’t mean that she’s lost touch with the people who mean the most to her. After all, her demigod kids are always just one Iris Message away.
As the former (and some would say superior) Messenger of the Gods, Iris knows a thing or two about connecting with people. So we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hear her thoughts on how to raise and develop a meaningful bond with demigod children.
Accept What Makes Them Different (to a Point)
“Most of the parents I talk to lament the fact that they have nothing in common with their children. They mention the generation gap, which is something we gods don’t concern ourselves with. We’ve seen enough generations come and go to understand that, at the end of the day, they’re all essentially the same.
“What these parents don’t realize is that each child is like a rainbow. (Most things are like rainbows. It’s a very useful analogy.) You have to accept all the color strands in your child, even if you prefer certain hues to others.
“Of course the problem is that some children refuse to embrace the entire spectrum of what makes them unique. Take my dear sweet child Blanche, who, for some unknown reason, dresses exclusively in black and white. Not to worry, though. She’s simply going through a phase. Nothing the right crystal can’t fix.”
Make Sure Their Voices Are Heard (Even When You Don’t Need to Listen)
“I also have parents tell me, ‘It feels as though my child and I are speaking two separate languages.’ And I can relate. When Butch tells me a joke, I usually have no idea what he’s trying to say. The trick is to simply smile and nod while you pretend to understand.
“The truth is, many children these days are deeply confused. Most likely because they don’t engage with crystals as often as they should. Many of the words that come out of their mouths are complete nonsense. For example, a couple of deeply troubled young demigods recently accused me of stealing Ganymede’s precious chalice. Can you believe that? I had every right to be offended, but instead I remembered who their parents are and realized they were probably raised without access to the correct minerals or essential oils.”
Pick Up the Slack (From Other Gods)
“While it shouldn’t be my job to connect the right demigod with the right crystal, I am more than happy to speak with them. But not through Iris Messages. They must meet me at the farmer’s market at Lincoln Square on Saturdays. And refrain from touching anything that they don’t plan to buy.
“Also, they shouldn’t linger any longer than necessary. Or bring a bad attitude.
“Demigods, if you can help it, please don’t dress in monochrome. The lack of color upsets the delicate energy of my pop-up stand. Yes, I am talking to you, Blanche. Whatever happened to that nice turquoise and chartreuse scarf I gave you for your birthday last year? I always thought it would pair well with that lovely mauve and vermilion pullover I never see you wear either.”
Always Support Their Dreams (Or, if Those Dreams Are Incorrect, Give Them New Dreams)
“It wasn’t until later that I learned that the demigod who accused me of theft was simply trying to earn a college recommendation letter. How that relates to me is beyond my understanding. But I could tell that despite all his rudeness, he was simply following a dream.
“I approve of that. Young people need purpose in their lives. Which is why I gave him the simple task of taking my Mercedes out for a good cleaning in the River Elisson.
“I do hope that boy returns soon. I would hate to think that he was snatched up by any of the nasties who regularly bathe in that river. If that happened, I might never see my precious Mercedes again!
“What? Why do you look so shocked? No, I did not give Percy Jackson the keys to a car. What kind of fool do you think I am?”
Want to know what Iris is talking about? Be sure to catch up with her in Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Chalice of the Gods on sale 9/26!