Gaea’s Giants (aka “the Gigantes” if you’re feeling fancy) are often thought of as a gang of bumbling, violent goons. That description isn’t totally inaccurate, but perhaps we feel that way because we’ve only ever seen the giants in their Bashing Demigods’ Heads era, when they battled the Heroes of Olympus and their godly parents in the service of Gaea.

Are the giants the most sympathetic of Camp Half-Blood’s enemies? Probably not. Are they the most dangerous progeny of Gaea and the Titans? Definitely not. Does their very presence cast a long shadow of doom and dread over any demigod who crosses their path? Yes, but only literally.

But if we take a closer look, we may be able to uncover hidden depths in these lumbering lummoxes. You just have to crane your neck way back to see them.

Mama’s Boys (and Girl)

The towering terrors known as the Gigantes have a history as old as Western civilization. Created by Gaea after the gods beat the Titans in the first Olympian War, the giants were designed to destroy the new Pantheon once and for all. But not even the all-powerful earth mother could complete the task.

That’s where Tartarus came in. The manifestation of the primordial god of the abyss, we mean. Together, Gaea and Tartarus spawned at least thirty giants. There may be more giants out there somewhere, but good luck trying to get them to respond to a census questionnaire.

Of the giants we have seen, each corresponds to a Greek and Roman god we know and love. For example, Porphyrion, the so-called King of the Giants, is also known as the Bane of Zeus and Jupiter. Polybotes is the bane of Poseidon and Neptune. And to round out the big three, Alcyoneus is the bane of Hades and Pluto.

Just don’t ask us to identify which one is which. You see one fifty-foot-tall guy with long hair and a beard and you’ve kind of seen them all.

Team of Rivals

So who else is on the starting lineup of Gaea’s giant army? Damasen, Enceladus, Hippolytos, Mimus, Orion, Otis, Periboia, and Thoon. Don’t worry, you won’t be tested on this. We’re only highlighting their numbers to help you understand the challenge Gaea faced when organizing the giants for their first big brawl with the gods.

You know how hard it is for you and ten of your friends to decide on how to split the check? Now imagine all of you trying to come up with a plan to defeat Hercules.

Enter the First Giant War, though it may be more accurate to refer to the whole thing as the First Giant Flop instead. Zeus, Athena, Poseidon, Artemis, Hecate, Hephaestus, and Hercules easily sent the giants packing with no casualties on their own side. Some of the giants were killed (temporarily), one was trapped under an island, another was banished to Tartarus, and two of them were tricked by Artemis to destroy each other.

In the end, Gaea’s master plan to overthrow the Pantheon fell right on its face. Perhaps the Gigantes simply weren’t ready to battle such powerful foes. Perhaps they assumed bigger means better, so they neglected to prepare properly for war. Or perhaps their field leader, Porphyrion, failed to devise an effective battle strategy because he “accidentally” fell in love with Hera after being hit by Cupid’s arrow. Whatever the reason for their defeat, there wasn’t a rematch between the Gigantes and the gods for quite some time . . .

Playing Favorites

. . . until a new generation of heroic demigods joined their godly parents in taking up arms against the giants during Gaea’s most recent attempted takeover. This time, one might assume that the Gigantes would take the lessons of their previous failure to heart and realize they are simply not powerful enough to face the gods and their demigod offspring at the same time.

And yet, despite all their scheming, the giants were once again defeated by the power of familial love. Not to mention a massive lightning bolt courtesy of Zeus.

Once more the Gigantes failed to bring glory to their mother, Gaea. And she, in turn, remembered why Typhon is her favorite child. And at this point, who can really blame her?

Giant Shoes to Fill

With no real victories under their belts, one has to wonder if the Gigantes were ever destined for triumph. They may have been bred explicitly to destroy the gods, but their raw power means nothing so long as they continue to get in their own way. And while they all may look similar, their varied and distinct personalities might be what truly prevents them from scoring that much-needed W.

Porphyrion is arrogant and power-hungry. The twins Ephialtes and Otis are constantly at each other’s throats. The thoughtful and cautious Periboia (the singular female bane of the gods), is surprise, surprise often overlooked and dismissed by the other Gigantes. And Damasen, the bane of Ares and Mars, is, shockingly, a simple farmer and pacifist who hates the very idea of war and senseless bloodshed.

We don’t often see family dynamics even more dysfunctional than those of the Greek and Roman gods, but the Gigantes just might take that honor. We can’t help but wonder what would have happened if they were able to put their differences aside and devise a realistic path toward victory.

Once they inevitably return to life, perhaps the best thing for all the Gigantes would be to follow Damasen’s lead and discover a life beyond the need to destroy the gods and pay total fealty to Gaea.

A life of peace, tranquility, and for the love of all gods, hopefully, some proper grooming techniques . . . We’re still finding long strands of green hair littered across the Acropolis and in the Long Island Sound. It’s disgusting.

Would you like to see the Gigantes return one day for a rematch against the demigods? Be sure to let us know!