All these years later, some of us are still reeling from the Battle of Manhattan. Remember? That time the Titan Army waged an all-out war on the Olympians on the streets of the Big Apple?

For a historical recounting of the dramatic events, you can check out Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Last Olympian. Long story short, the Greek gods and goddesses—with the help of the demigods of Camp Half-Blood—defended their turf and kicked the malicious monsters to the curb, and the invading Titans were left scattered to the wind (literally, in a few cases).

But we can’t deny that the Titans put up a good fight. Obviously, we don’t endorse the actions or beliefs of the Titan Army. Objectively, though . . . we thought they might actually pull out a W in the first half of the skirmish. The real question is, could they have achieved victory in the end? Or were those old fogeys forever doomed to be defeated by the younger generation? Let’s look at the performances of some of their key leaders, as seen in The Last Olympian, and find out.

Ethan Nakamura

By the time the Battle of Manhattan kicked off, a number of former Half-Blood campers had defected to the Titans. And none did more damage than Ethan Nakamura, who raised Kronos himself from the depths of Tartarus.

In The Battle of the Labyrinth, the traitorous demigod son of Nemesis dueled with Percy Jackson to prove himself worthy of Kronos’s army and lost (his pride, that is). Cut to The Last Olympian, and Ethan was already a lieutenant. How’s that for upward mobility?

By then, Ethan had evolved into a mighty warrior—he almost took out Percy in their second fight. But he was also clearly troubled. Like his mother, Ethan was obsessed with the concept of balance. Had he joined the Titan Army because he saw himself as Percy’s equal on the opposing side? How much were his actions influenced by his mother and how much by the head injury he received during his first duel with Percy?

Whatever the reasons for Ethan’s betrayal, we’re not here to dwell on the past. What matters is that Ethan was able to redeem himself in the end. And his sacrifice brought about a major change in the way Camp Half-Blood recognizes the children of minor gods and goddesses.

Ethan got what he wanted, even if he went about it the wrong way. And what more can you ask for? Except maybe the opportunity to actually see the fruits of your labor. Sorry, Ethan. We’re going to have to shave off a point for that whole falling thousands of feet to your doom thing.

Score: 4 poisoned knives out of 5

Prometheus

No war is complete without a slimy political opportunist looking to play both sides while ensuring that they themselves will survive no matter the outcome. Prometheus was considered an official member of the Titan Army, but he saw himself more as a “diplomat.” When he attempted to persuade Percy to surrender, Prometheus claimed that he was siding with the Titans only because he foresaw their victory (might be time for a new eye doctor, dude).

Nice of him to offer the Olympians an opportunity to end the war without the need for more bloodshed. But for the Titans, a white flag is little more than a green light signaling the go-ahead for further destruction and devastation. Even if Prometheus had the best intentions in the world, his cowardice paints him as the lowest of the low in our eyes. We just hope he’s grateful for the mercy the Olympians extended to him when the war finally concluded.

Then again, it’s easy to cast judgment on someone who may have genuinely believed that he had no choice but to side with the Titans. And if he didn’t believe that, we still kind of appreciate the hustle . . .

Score: 2 Pandora’s jars out of 5

Hyperion

One of the “Big Three” of the Titans, Hyperion, the god of heavenly light, is easily identified by his blazing skin and imposing stature. Even if he wasn’t malevolent to the core, this guy would be supremely intimidating.

Unfortunately for us, Hyperion’s personality is just as harsh and brutal as the flames that consume his body. We witnessed his violent tendencies up close when he led an army of monsters in an invasion of Central Park during the Battle of Manhattan.

Hyperion and his forces put up a good fight, but they were ultimately defeated by Percy, with an assist from some brave satyrs and nymphs. It’s kind of a bummer for Hyperion that he spent so long imprisoned in Tartarus, waiting for another opportunity to defeat the Olympians, only to be trapped by a tree right outside the entrance to the Underworld. Maybe next time he’s out on parole, he’ll at least make it to Broadway. The big guy deserves the opportunity for some more sightseeing if nothing else.

Score: 4 whiny nephews out of 5

Morpheus

Another minor god who threw in with the Titans for his own benefit. But aside from putting Grover to sleep for a couple of months, the god of dreams didn’t do much during the Second Titan War.

Except, of course, when he (with the help of Hecate) cast a sleeping spell over the city, halting the war for a brief moment so that all the participants could get some much needed rest.

While we hate that he sided with the bad guys, we can’t deny that he gifted us with the best nap we’ve ever had. Don’t believe us? You try getting some peace and quiet during the middle of the day in Manhattan. Simply not possible without some sort of divine intervention.

Score: 5 bags of Sleepy Time tea out of 5

Kronos

How do you score the performance of a figure like Kronos? He led the assault on Olympus. He possessed Luke. He damaged the Pantheon’s throne room. He’s responsible for more death and destruction than we care to imagine. And he’s been pulling schemes like this for literally millions of years! When he’s not trapped in Tartarus, we mean.

Scoring the villainy of Kronos feels like scoring the sun for its heat or the ocean for its wetness. We’re more inclined to give him a lifetime achievement award for his unwavering dedication to being the absolute worst. What more needs to be said?

If Kronos eventually overcomes his injuries from the Second Titan Army and re-forms to try once again to enact revenge on the Olympians, we will all hopefully be long gone. Let the demigods of the thirty-first century worry about him. Who knows? Maybe by then we’ll actually be rooting for the Titans to destroy those bratty kids.

Score: 5 Pieces of Scattered Titan Out of Millions

What did you think of the top brass of the Titan Army? Could they have scored that W under better circumstances? Or were they never a match for the Olympians? Be sure to let us know!