The staff at Camp Half-Blood work tirelessly to foster an environment in which no camper feels inferior to any other, regardless of age, racial origin, gender, or godly parent. At least that’s what Chiron told us.
In reality, you can’t reasonably expect a bunch of super-powered, ultra-competitive teens and tweens to get along 24/7. Especially when family pride is involved. Intense rivalries between the cabins are as old as CBH itself, but sometimes it seems like the enmity gets worse with each new generation.
Battles between the 20 Camp Half-Blood cabins usually play out on the field in games such as Capture the Flag or the dreaded Three-Legged Death Race. But the triumphant victories and bitter defeats only last until the next inevitable rematch.
This is why we’ve invited a few of the head counselors at CBH (those who agreed to show up) to put down the swords and use their words to explain why they believe their cabin deserves the top spot.
Miranda Gardner, Head Counselor of Cabin 4:
“You can just tell that the other campers are jealous of Demeter’s Cabin. Our diverse array of plants and flowers ensures that we’re consistently the best, freshest-smelling bunk. And all the organic fruits and veggies we grow are a great alternative to what they typically serve in the Dining Pavilion. We may not win at sports as often as the other cabins, or horde as much junk food as they do, but we doubt you’ll find a more relaxing spot to hang out than Cabin 4. Whenever other campers come to visit, they always have such a hard time leaving.
“And no, I’m not just saying that because sometimes the vines surrounding the cabin get a little grabby at times. Ensnarement has been a teeny bit of a problem in the past, but I assure you that we’re working on it!”
Sherman Yang, Head Counselor of Cabin 5:
“Ares’s Cabin has an unfair reputation as the place where all the ‘insensitive bullies,’ ‘mean jocks,’ and ‘odorous troglodytes’ live. Whatever that last one means. Other campers’ words, not mine.
“But that’s simply just not true. The reason we’re the best (aside from the obvious) is because we don’t fall into those limited stereotypes. Ares’s kids are way more in touch with our feelings than you would think. Every night, after all the other campers go to sleep, we turn the heavy metal music real low, sit in a circle, and just . . . talk. We talk about the difficulties and challenges in our lives, what’s making us mad, that sort of stuff.
“Just last night, Ellis had a breakthrough and admitted that sometimes, only sometimes, he feels like winning actually isn’t everything. It was a powerful moment of emotional honesty and we’re all so proud that he found the inner strength to express himself like that. We still gave him a swirlie for saying something so wimpy, of course, but we’re still proud.”
Malcolm Pace, Head Counselor of Cabin 6:
“This really shouldn’t even be a contest. Highest SAT scores on average? The residents of Athena’s Cabin. Most extensive and valuable independent library found on the East Coast? Right here in Athena’s Cabin. The most successful and highest earning CBH alumnus? You guessed it. All from Athena’s Cabin.
“Not that I’m bragging or anything. Objectively speaking, we outperform all the rest in nearly every metric required for the admittedly nebulous title of Best Cabin. Don’t believe me? My bunkmates and I have developed a sophisticated algorithm designed to collate all relevant data. And trust me, the numbers don’t lie . . .
“Uh, no, you can’t actually see the data. It’s, um, presented in a coding language that we also developed internally . . . and it would simply take too long to teach it to you, you know?”
Will Solace, Head Counselor of Cabin 7:
“I don’t know if I can claim that Apollo’s Cabin is the ‘best,’ but I’m certain it’s the shiniest, at least. You need sunglasses just to look at the exterior.
“The entire thing is made of solid gold, for gods’ sake. Which, I guess, also makes it technically the most valuable cabin. If Camp Half-Blood’s strawberry sales ever dip and we fall on hard times, I bet Mr. D could sell the cabin for a pretty penny. Apollo might get a little upset, but I definitely know a few people in the music industry who would buy the thing sight unseen.”
Lou Ellen Blackstone, Head Counselor of Cabin 20:
“Everyone knows that Cabins 14 through 20 are way more chic and modern than the old cabins. But Annabeth really outdid herself on the design for Hecate’s Cabin. State-of-the-art amenities, tons of open space, and extremely comfy furniture. And everything can be completely rearranged with the snap of a finger.
“So what if we’ve failed cabin inspection once or twice? All that demonstrates is that the other head counselors don’t appreciate or understand our style. Do you think Hecate’s manse has ever passed a ‘normal’ building inspection conducted by a ‘normal’ mortal? No way! I’m pretty sure she just transforms those people into piglets. Hmm . . . now there’s an idea. Would anyone be able to tell the difference if we did the same to Connor Stoll?”
Thalia Grace, Head Counselor of Cabin 8:
“Why is Artemis’s Cabin the best? That’s easy. It’s the only place around here where you can actually get some peace and quiet.
“Except, of course, when the rest of the Hunters come to visit. Then it’s the site of the greatest parties these campgrounds have ever seen. And stop asking. You’re still not invited.”
Which cabin do you think deserves the title? Are you prepared to argue the merits of your favorite home away from home? Be sure to let us know!