Calling all influencers, monsters, disaffected demigods, and adventurous retirees! Eager to escape the dreariness of winter? Then hop aboard the Princess Andromeda! The flagship of the Titan Army’s cruise line is legendary the world over for its top-of-the-line amenities, state-of-the-art entertainment venues, and huge list of A-list celebrity partners.
Embarking on a new voyage soon . . . whenever Kronos is revived, really.
But while we wait for our intrepid Titan Lord to return and bring order to the world, cast your mind to a dream vacation filled with clear skies, shining seas, and new friendships that will last a lifetime. All for the low, low price of pledging undying loyalty to the Titan Army.
Set Sail for Must-See Destinations
We are proud to announce that the Princess Andromeda is one of the few ships that sails straight through the Bermuda Triangle. Our vessel does not get lost in the Mist. Most of the time.
Additionally, the Princess Andromeda is the only cruise ship that makes routine stops on several highly exclusive shores.
Luxuriate in the tropical paradise that is the Island of Aeaea. Relax and indulge yourself at the legendary C.C.’s Spa and Resort. Just be sure not to feed the wild guinea pigs that roam the island from time to time. They’re no real danger to visitors . . . but C.C. is quite possessive of the little critters.
If music is your passion, you’ll undoubtedly heed the call of the Sirens’ Island. The sandy shore of this island is so alluring you’ll never want to leave.
But you mustn’t tarry if you want to join us for the most exciting and popular stop on our voyage: Polyphemus’s Island! Take in the sights, meet the sheep, and relax on the beach. But please, please refrain from dumping your garbage in the cave. We’ve received many complaints about this in the past . . .
Treat Yourself to Unforgettable Experiences Onboard
For those who would prefer to stay aboard the ship, rest assured that the Princess Andromeda provides plenty of daily activities and sightseeing opportunities for our valued shut-ins.
Break out those binoculars and view your favorite sea beasts from the safety of our decks. Sunbathe with the Scythian Dracaena. Enjoy the comic stylings of the Bear Twins, Agrius and Oreuis. Delight in freshly prepared meals everyday courtesy of our expert Laistrygonian Giant chefs. We highly recommend the mouthwatering peasant pie, by the way. Yum yum! (Hmm . . . that should read pheasant, right?)
And hey, if you really can’t think of anything to do other than lounge on the ship all day, why not pay a quick visit to one of our recruitment centers conveniently located on each deck? Come for the opportunity to see the world; stay for the opportunity to change the world in the image of our one true king.
Get to Know the Crew and Take Part in the Fun
Yes, serving in the Titan Army is a noble pursuit, and it involves much more than just menial labor. Working under the Titan generals also offers many pleasures and rewards.
Like Pickleball? Then you’ll love loading explosive materials into cannons and blasting enemy vessels.
Love arts and crafts? On the lower deck, we have an overabundance of what we can only assume is red paint just waiting to be repurposed for something amazing.
Can’t help but feel the groove whenever your favorite tune comes on? Song requests are welcome during your daily 12-hour sword-fighting training. You’ll be on your feet anyway!
And for aspiring young actors, we have the dramaturgical opportunity of a lifetime! But only if you’re willing to go method and really commit to playing a role 24/7. Requirements include traveling to a camp on Long Island, passing for a naïve, unassuming demigod, and reporting back to us.
Beware of Interlopers and Stowaways
A little confused or concerned about that last part? Perhaps we should address the elephant in the stateroom. We here on the Princess Andromeda are often subject to misguided criticism from tragically misinformed individuals.
This is why we prioritize the safety of our passengers and crew members above all else. We are fully committed to staffing our ship with only the most loyal and capable soldiers. As well as the most expendable horde of cannon fodder you’ll find on the Atlantic.
It’s true that the ship suffered some minor structural damage recently, which is why it is currently undergoing some light maintenance. But that was only due to a small incident that was unavoidable. If you encounter any suspicious activity during your travels, it is crucial that you inform the captain immediately.
Speaking of the captain, we’re still in the process of recruiting a new one—one who isn’t an emotionally maladjusted teenager—though the pool of candidates is looking shallower than the splash zone in the kiddie section.
Ready to set sail on your Princess Andromeda cruise? Dive into the second book of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, The Sea of Monsters!